It is a common purpose, a survival instinct that we all have. We all know about it, many of us have experienced first hand and some are still looking for it. It’s a four letter word which has a healing power like nothing else on this earth, a word we all hope to hear, soon and look forward to saying.
It’s called LOVE and it’s there, all around us, and the only problem is that not all of us can see it.
Hopefully these pages will serve as an inspiration to all of you who are still looking for love, inspiration gathered during the experiences of a life time during which I have had the privilege to fall in love three times, with three of the most wonderful women I could ever hope to meet.
So please take my words with a pinch of salt, for I am no love guru nor am I the equivalent of a modern day high priestess devoting her life to love, not least because I am man, and also because… well I am just a man.
Dating for beginners often seems an overwhelming procedure, some sort of a journey that we take in our quest for a better life. I am often in awe of some of the expectations that people place on themselves when they look for that elusive better half, and I use the word “elusive” deliberately here because of the very nature of their expectations.
So if I had a single advice to give, it would be to get rid of your expectations and let love find you. Simple as that. Of course, it is unlikely, although not impossible that you will all of a sudden feel a great big thump on your head and fall head over heals in love with your soul mate. I say unlikely because in my own experiences it never happened that way. Love for me installed itself peacefully into my heart, kiss by kiss, day after week after month after year.
Some will say that what you need to do is find your dating objectives and decide what you want from a relationship. But do you really need to make plans, to listen to dating advice and seek dating tips for men or dating tips for women?
I would say that the most important aspect of your quest for love is to keep an open mind. Of course there are things you can do and others you should not and we will talk about them as well, such as the merits of online dating, dating services, blind dates and even speed dating which seem to be the most popular methods of finding a partner these days. In the meantime, if you are ready to start dating again, please have a look at my personal list of Top Dating Websites, one of which I have used myself to find my own Nirvana. If you have had personal experience (good or bad) about online dating, or any of the sites on my list, don’t hesitate to share them in your comment!
Then there are the issues of dating safety, for both men and women as well as ways to turn a first date into a success and what to do after that first date which, if all goes well will turn into a second date, and then a third and of a long list many other dates after that.
As a father of several kids, I have had to deal with teen dating as well which is a whole different issue of course particularly for an over protective Dad with daughters to look after.
Ah the business of love and dating. It is going to be a great journey!
If you too would like to find love, you may be interested: Double Your Dating Free Trial, the award wining “how to dating” guide. There you will find a lot information including how to attract women
Fortunately there are some excellent dating websites out there where perhaps unbeknown to you, a soul mate is waiting to share a life with you! Here some I would recommend: Top Dating Websites
When you talk about speed, online, and blind dating. I have never seen anyone that was successful from speed dating, but anyone that I talked to seems to really enjoy the process. As for online dating, I personally have know 4 couples that are happily married and met on EHarmoney, match and zoosk.
[Reply]
admin Reply:
March 13th, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Actually I wasn’t talking about speed dating per se, rather it was one method that people have used today to meet Mrs. or Mr. right. There is a school of thoughts that believe that we make our mind very quickly as to whether we are attracted to a person or not. Some say it happens within minutes… Like something in them tells them a person is right for them, or not. As for online dating, we all know that it works. The truth is our lives have changed to much in the past 50 years that whereas in the past one might have been introduced to another by a common friend, today, it is the better online services that do that.
[Reply]
I know of lots of couples that are in long term serious relationships or married that have meet online. If you use your head and instincts and take tips from experts there is a very good chance you will find a good person online.
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
September 7th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Use caution, take your time, follow your head and your heart… Online dating is just a means to meet interesting folks.
[Reply]
I am not for this thrill, but i think this dating is really possible for amateurs and widows.
[Reply]
Hi Stevie
It is always good to read your blog and i LOVE to read
what you say about LOVE.
Well i love to fall in love again but on this moment my focus is on my game that i want to send into the world, but i am going to save the link of the Online dating you did give thanks.
Regards
Theuns
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
September 28th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
One can never be too busy for love my friend! Life is way too short for that!
[Reply]
Hi Steve,
I am at a time in my life where dating may be a possibility. I’ve done online dating in the past and I really don’t like it that much. However, it has it’s benefits if the number of people you meet is limited and it gives you an opportunity to “filter” possible compatible mates. Wow that sounds mechanical!
I suppose that’s why I don’t like it that much but I’ve heard of many people who have succeeded in finding love that way. I agree that the best the thing for finding love is to let it just come to you. Isn’t it ironic that in marketing the most effective method is attraction marketing and we forget to use it in our personal lives? Since attraction marketing works so well, I say be authentic and allow nature to work in your favor. Thanks for this interesting article.
Raena Lynn
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
September 28th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Hello Raena! Always good to hear that a friend is ready to start dating again. I can tell you that online dating works as I met my wife through eHarmony and there hasn’t been a single day when I haven’t felt blessed. If you want to try it for yourself, here is the link! eHarmonty!
[Reply]
Steve-Personal Success Factors Reply:
October 21st, 2011 at 3:14 am
Dr. Dad, so interesting about how you met your wife! Raena read my mind as I was looking through the comments, for I was interested in finding out how you met your wife. I’m so glad you had a great experience!
[Reply]
My friend is really fond of online dating, she’s always updated on the latest happenings on the online dating world but I constantly remind her about her limitations and safety.
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
September 28th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
You’r right. Safety issues are always the same, whether you meet a potential partner on a dating site, or elsewhere. In the case of online dating sites, people will meet face to face eventually, if they like each other sufficiently to take it to the next level.
[Reply]
I do not believe in on line dating, It is Ok to talk to some one or to play alittle. It is just when it comes to actually forming a true relationship with someone I think it should be up close and one on one. I only say this because when you want to be with someone you want to know them. The one thing that we all know is that when people are on the computer they are not always 100% real. So on line dating might work for some, but I like it the way it the way it was done in my time.
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Of course! Meeting someone on an online dating site is of course just the beginning! Although there are some who are quite happy with “virtual” online dating relationships, I would hope that the vast majority use dating sites as a meeting point.
[Reply]
I can’t say that I am for or against as I have no personal experience. However I do have 2 close friends right now that both hooked up via a dating system. If you are particular about what you want, why not go where you can be choosy? If you go through 10 guys/gals you know and can’t find what you are looking for, why not, be specific and search a little more specifically? I think that too many of us settle and don’t get the ‘whole” soul mate that we want.. I certainly wouldn’t discourage a friend from going this route! It can work!
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 5:07 pm
As long as we all realize that an online dating system as you call it serves the purpose of “matchmaking” and not a replacement of live human interaction, then I think it can be helpful to just about anyone, precisely because of some of the issues you are raising.
[Reply]
Dating 101. My first thought when I read your title was, how can I comment on something that belongs 30 years in my past? Strange thought from a mom of 2 unmarried daughters in their 20s, and 2 sons in their late teens/early 20s. Not so strange when you understand that not one of them is dating!
I agree, the best course of action is to wait and let love find you. By all means, make a list of qualities you want in a spouse, so you know what you are looking for… and then focus on becoming the person your dream spouse would want to marry.
Willena Flewelling
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 4th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
he he… We seem to be in the same boat with regards to kids in their twenties! Although I did start dating again 4 years ago after the passing of my wife, and I found dating sites to be helpful in that endeavor.
[Reply]
I was really thinking of what to comment after reading this post. I am an avid fan and you made me realize that you are really that good at this. I guess even an adult like me needs this Dating 101.
[Reply]
Hi Stevie,
Just the word “dating” on your title caught my attention. I’m definitely not a beginner, but I am always up for learning more and more in my life. I’ve been married for 6 years with my husband that I met 12 years ago. We still go on date nights at least 1 to 2 times every month. And we believe that it’s one of the keys to keeping our relationship alive.
I am with you in that you mentioned to “keep an open mind” in the beginning stages of dating. That right there, is a really good tip. Because if you have expectations, it can wipe out the outcome that you imagined and thus lose out on an opportunity to really get to know someone on much deeper level.
Thanks and keep writing these great articles on relationships Stevie.
-Jaclyn Castro
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 5th, 2011 at 3:27 am
Thank you Jaclyn! I am delighted that you are enjoying some of my articles. And you are absolutely right in reminding all of us that dating doesn’t start and end at dating website. It is something all couples should continue to do throughout their lives! Thank you for reminding us of that!
[Reply]
These are some great tips! I don’t know if I would call myself a beginner since I’m currently dating someone, but I think everyone, beginner or not, could benefit from this advice… Especially keeping an open mind – things are just easier if you do!
[Reply]
Speed dating is pretty interesting. It`s based on the fact, that people are quick to judge … and that the first impression matters.
In fact, I think that`s wrong … and this might be an explanation for why I don`t know anyone who “succeeded” in Speed Dating.
I personally belief, that the best way to meet an date new woman is to simply approach them during the day
[Reply]
If I got separated now, I would definitely try online dating as it gives you the opportunity of meeting a lot of interesting people. This way you don’t have to make any commitments at all!
.
To be honest I do not look forward to my daughter’s dating issues later on
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 7th, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Well, I do hope you don’t get separated! But as you say, online dating does work! I should know… it worked for me!
[Reply]
Radu Reply:
October 13th, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I’m glad that it worked for someone. I’m a little reticent regarding this. Usually i like to know the person before i’m doing any dates, dinners or whatever.
[Reply]
I can consider myself as beginner in dating maybe because I haven’t dated anyone seriously…All i had before is friendly date…Thanks for the post…
[Reply]
I have dated a lot of girls. And I was fortunate to have finally found the right girl for me. I agree on having an open mind to dating. Love happen even when we don’t expect it.
[Reply]
Interesting post, Stevie.
Dating is pretty complex and I think all the guides and guidance you can get your hands on is worthwhile.
Seems to me like online dating is the most common and most effective method for finding the best match.
Keep in mind, that you’ll probably be predisposed to a certain personality type. That’s “your type”. In time, the very same things that drew you together will likely cause the bumps in the relationship. It’s important to always keep in mind why you got into the relationship to begin with.
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Very wise response. Online dating is an deal method to find a prospective partner, but it cannot replace what happens next, namely meeting that person and finding for oneself if that person is right one!
[Reply]
I love my girlfriend.I have gone on dating many times.We enjoy very much on dating.Dating is very wonderful day. I m a business man so i am unable to meet my girlfriend daily.Only we talk on mobile.But within one month or two month we go for a dating.
[Reply]
Had to laugh when you talked about seeing dating differently as a father — with daughters! Definitely gives us guys a different perspective.
[Reply]
I think you’re so right about love finding you. It’s so true that love finds you when you’re not looking for it- be happy with and love yourself and I think other people will be attracted to your confidence. And I very much agree with you on keeping an open mind, I know so many people who have a ‘type’ that they don’t deviate from, but you never know who the next love of your life may be, if could be someone you never even thought of!
[Reply]
This was a refreshing read for me because it is new. I am so happy and in love right now that I have never glansed at a dating service or website or magazine…LOL
But I know it is a hige area where so much is happening and so much is happening with the popularity of social media and dating sites.
It almost makes me curious now if my son (16) or daughter (12) will get into the online dating scene. My sister did a little bit…I wish she had continued because she is turning 49 this October and she is alone. I hope she meets someone.
Great post, Thanks… ~ Nathalie
[Reply]
Wow, the whole dating scene seems so remote! Teenage dating is so far in the past that I barely remember it. Besides, I think it’s totally different now from when I was a teen. Things kids face now are far more serious and potentially life-changing than what my generation experienced.
[Reply]
Hi Stevie,
That “head over heels” love does exist and it can happen easily, at least it did for me:-) And, we’re still married 25 years later. I’m not saying we still feel like that, but we still enjoy each other’s company and have a lot of fun together! Over the last 10 years, we’ve learned to do all kinds of “unusual stuff” together and I’m hoping we can still do it together until we’re 100 years old! I’m talking about scuba diving.
My advice for people dating after a break up or first time dating, is to go join clubs and do stuff you love doing. Or, learn something you’ve always wanted to do. That way, there’s a really high chance of you meeting someone who loves doing the same thing, then you’ll have fun together!
bye for now, Julieanne
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
October 26th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Hello Julieanne. I am delighted to learn that you are one the wise ones still in love after 25 years! I have actually just written a book about this very subject! I will put it up for download in the next few days as soon as I have heard back from the folks who have been kind enough to offer to read it and give me their honest opinion.
[Reply]
Very interesting article. Few years ago I opposed completely to the online dating, it just seems no practical at all. However, I have met several people who have been successful with this method.
[Reply]
Dr. Dad Reply:
November 9th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Indeed. Online dating can be very successful. What one does with the relationship that ensues if of course dependent on the what both parties put into it.
[Reply]
I feel that online dating is very successful, I have had relatives who married people off of online dating and that was ten yrs ago. But everything has there ups and downs, so i can see how it is frowned upon.
[Reply]
Considering it’s something that we all do at some stage during our lives it’s incredible how many people struggling with the ins and outs of the dating experience. Whether it’s online dating or otherwise, men and women are always putting their foots in their mouths when trying to court the partner of their dreams.
Dating 101 is an article that needed to be written and there are some solid thoughts in this piece that newbies to the dating field could really benefit from taking on board and working into their own dating experiences to avoid any pitfalls!
Matt
[Reply]
Well from my experience dating fails big time either when there is hardly any communication or either of them have unrealistic expectations from their first meeting.
You are right, key is to be relaxed, natural and allow the relationship to progress step by step.
[Reply]
Great tips. Anyone who is in the dating game could use regular reminders like this. Something I find particularly interesting is the increasing popularity of online dating. It no longer has the association of “only people who can’t find a date in real life.” Instead, busy people are using dating sites to find and meet people who they genuinely connect with. People are doing more and more on the internet today, so it doesn’t surprise me at all that dating sites are growing in popularity.
[Reply]