These are not Dating Tips for Women per say as the destruction of a marriage is never part of any dating tips, whether for women or men, but it fits within the context of what women can do in order to find out how to get a man and keep him. If you are interested in learning more, you can find out about it —> here! In the previous article I talked about how Alex had lost his wife to an illness 5 years ago and how he had met a lady who would fill his heart with love a year later. I described that these two seemingly had it all: a deep love for each other, an understanding that they would be together for the rest of their life, an intimacy visible to anyone who knew them. I talked about how this wonderful lady and her two gorgeous daughters moved into his house and how the four of them became a family. Having met through an online dating site (eHarmony) we often times teased them that they should in fact contact eHarmony so as to appear in one the success ads this company often runs on TV. Theirs, by all accounts was a vindication of all that is good between a man and woman. My friend became husband and father all over again and loved every moment of his new life. His wife’s young daughters adopted their new “Dad” with love and a sense that they understood how much he loved them and they loved him in return, as daughters love a father. It was truly a wonderful story… And then one day, in the summer of 2011, after living together for 4 years in what seemed like utter bliss, Alex had to arrange for the return of his two other daughters who had been living in a different state and wanted to relocate near their Dad. He arranged this with the support of his beloved wife and thus the two young ladies moved back to his home. This was of course going to be a temporary arrangement, just a short time whilst they looked for a job, an apartment etc… They had been four of them, there were now 6. Both Alex and his wife had been aware that cohabitation would be challenging in the best of times and thus it proved to be. And much more. In fact nothing could have prepared Alex for what was to happen. Whereas he had hoped that his two adult daughters and his wife would find common ground and possibly become friends, the situation turned out to be completely different. After a while, it was obvious that these three really did not get on. And even though the arrangement was always going to be temporary, his wife, how ever much she tried seemingly did not find a way to cope with the intrusion. The following months became difficult, for every one. And Alex who loved his wife, and his daughters was distraught. Should he ask his daughters to leave immediately? Should he ask his wife to be more patient, more accommodating? He did both.. He encouraged his daughters to look for an apartment and begged his wife to do her part and be more open to them. Still the atmosphere at home was not as it had been. Where there had been love and tenderness, there were now, hurt and anger. And then one day, on a Tuesday evening, three months after the arrival of his daughters his wife, the woman he loved with all his heart walked out of his life. And thus ended their story.
And just like that she was gone! As some of you know me, I am one of those eternal optimists, always looking for the good in life, and I always held a conviction that love is all it takes for any relationship to be succesful. Knowing my friend’s wife as well as I do, I also know that she cannot have taken the drastic decision to move out lightly. I am sure that she genuienly loved her husband, maybe even still does, and whilst I’ll never quite understand the whole reason behind her decision, one thing is sure: Love sometimes is not enough! It is an experienced that has left him heart broken and me shocked! What do you think? In the meantime, if you are a wife or girlfriend who is eager to learn how to get him and keep him, make sure to click on the ad below! Just so you know, if you were to purchase this program put together by Christian Carter, I would earn a fee. So thanks if you do, and let me know it if helped you!
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Thought provoking article Stevie.
There are many people who believe that nothing lasts forever, there are others who say looking back through the ages humans did not stay with one partner in brick boxes forever and always. I guess some will some won’t I can’t jugde
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I hope that “Have The Relationship You Want” introduces people (lovers) to the long lost art of the dialogue.
I’m sure you know, Stevie, that broken lines of communication are the foundation of failure for any relationship. Sounds like your friend and his wife failed to communicate on the deep level required to weather the storm they had ventured into. That’s why I say “dialogue”, not just communication. Dialogue is far deeper and more engaging that just a simple communication. “Goodbye” is a basic type of communication, after all.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Absolutely. Judging by his shock at his wife recent departure, I have to say nothing had prepared him for that. So obviously, somewhere along the way, they started to misinterpret the signals they were giving to each other.
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I mixing two families together is tough. My father went through 2 divorces and I think the struggle to find a balance is really a big factor. Sometimes people do not get along, but it should not end in a spouse leaving. Did he take measures to assure his wife that he would hold her opinion first. I know in the beginning, I struggled to get along with my stepmom. She really is a wonderful woman, but I was protective of my dad and my sisters, and was already 15 by the time she entered our lives.
After much talk with her and also understanding that my father really loved her, I accepted her and let her take the reigns.
It is sad that the man’s wife walked out on him. If she comes back, great, but if not… hopefully he finds someone for him that will be more understanding and willing to work together to make two families live together.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Yes, cohabitation is difficult in the best of times, let alone when two adult daughters return to their home where another woman and her own daughters also live. I can assure you that whist he would have never turned his daughters away he also made sure to demonstrate that his wife and her kids were as much a part of his life as they had ever been. Besides this was not a long term arrangement by any means. It was also the intentions of his daughters to move to their own place right after the new year.
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That was a very difficult situation, but if you love somebody you have to make amends and beside the man makes good move for you to be together. Things like this is very difficult for both parties.
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This is a difficult situation for everyone. But all of them are grown-ups and they should realize that sometimes you have to do sacrifices. Otherwise you may call it stubornness.
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For me love is enough and part of it is making some sacrifices. Alex did all he can but his new wife gave up. Maybe she did have some valid reasons and patience wouldn’t solve the problem. I find the story really sad especially that Alex put a lot of effort fixing the problem.
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Well I think she didn’t loved him enough. Loved ones will always stay together no matter how bad thing turn out to be.
We can possible know all the details, maybe no one is to blame or maybe they are both to blame…
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Dr. Dad Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Yes. Both parties have been hurt by this.
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I feel sorry for Alex. I can imagine how difficult it was for him to fix the situation. The important thing was, he did all he can to make things work. Maybe, they are just not meant to be but as long as there is room in his life, he shouldn’t be discouraged searching for the one.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I don’t think he himself knows if he did all he could to make things work so surprised he was when his wife told him she was leaving him. He was shocked to hear this news and will always be left wondering if there really was something he could have done to avoid this painful breakup! This of course is the recurrent question that most people who have just been through a break up ponder over for a long time. ie. Could (should) I have done things differently?
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The period immediately after a breakup is always the hardest. I hope Alex is doing okay. Stuff like this happens, and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. The important thing is what we learned from the experience. Stay optimistic.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
December 20th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I had forgotten how bad a break up was. Living it all over again through the experience of my friend has reminded me that it can be one of the most painful experience anyone can have. He is presently in the mourning period. It’s always tough to see a grown up man cry, particularly when that man is built like a fridge and probably weight as much
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interesting! Hope those lovers would have a longer relationship with their loved ones. I think if couples love each other then it will lasts forever.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
January 11th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
In the case of this particular couple, love certainly was NOT enough!
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This is so sad! I hope that every family will be more stronger this year.
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As painful as the story is, I must say it’s a pleasure to read a well-written article, Stevie. And that’s exactly what this is. Thank you. That said, the wife’s comment: “It’s not because of your daughters…They were just the last straw!” says it all.
I’d say what happened is that while everything was sunny on the surface between the husband and wife, there were troubles brewing underneath — even before the daughters moved in. Their arrival on the scene is all it took to dig up these hidden troubles and bring them out into the open.
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Dr. Dad Reply:
January 20th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Thank you Srinivas. It is always easier to write about a subject one knows well. And you’re right of course. There was probably a storm brewing under those calm waters. Dating, married life and relationship can be tough sometimes!
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H Stevie,
It is a really sad story.
I think that the daughters were not the reason of this broken relationship. Love is patient.
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Hi Stevie,
Love is certainly not enough especially if there are others who play an important role in the life of your partner. It’s really impossible to choose between the woman you love and your daughter (even though I am young enough probably I would choose my daughter if I had one)…
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